Where are the gentlemen?
You have to look no farther than modern day television and movies, to see we have a problem with respect. Men and women (and even children) frequently “tell people off” or “unload” or say the vilest things to other people. In particular, men are shown as bumbling idiots driven by sex alone. What is the media’s obsession with sex anyway?
We can find more examples than just in the media. Many men reinforce this stereotype when they approach a woman for the first time saying “hey baby you look hot” or “I need a fire lit under my pot tonight, how’s your cookin’?” Newsflash: A woman wants you to treat her like a woman, not your next conquest.
Treat women with respect. As a matter of fact, treat all people with respect. This goes for every situation, even the really terrible ones. If a man blindsides you with insults in an attempt to start a fight, respond with kindness and respect. You will see the surprise on his face. If your restaurant experience stinks and you want to make it known to the server, do it with kindness and respect. Most servers work really hard and could use a smile.
There is something to be said for grace and poise, carrying yourself with dignity and having “a presence” about you. As you consider upgrading your demeanor, I would like to offer a few actions you can implement immediately.
Ask about the lives of others and listen. This one will get you many friends and build up your existing relationships. Instead of rambling on and on about your own life, ask about the other person and listen. Then, ask follow-up questions and further the conversation about that person’s life or topic. You just might learn a thing or two.
Do unto others as you would have done to you. It’s simple: treat people the way you want to be treated. Jesus was right to promote this amazing principle.
Always lend a hand. This can take the form of opening a door for someone or volunteering to help a struggling person carry a box.
Give with no strings attached. Can you imagine if everyone on the planet lived by this principle? It would be amazing. I remember someone telling me as a kid there were two kinds of people – givers and takers. They asked which one I wanted to be. A giver of course. My dad is an especially good example of this.
You can look like a million bucks wearing all the right clothes, but it matters little if no one wants to look at you because of your poor demeanor. Implement these actions and you will find yourself with more friends, better interactions with people, more dates, and higher levels of all-around favor. And even if none of these benefits manifest in your life, be a gentleman because it’s the right thing to do.
© Copyright 2013 Jeremy Gradney.