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She Said Yes. What to wear on the First Date.
My first date with my wife gave us some great memories, but none related to my fashion. I recently asked her about my attire at that lunch. She remembered that I wore my standard old pleated khakis and dark blue dress shirt. Not a terrible look by itself if the pants were newer than four years old and my shoes were not so scuffed. Since that day, I have had time to rethink how I would dress if I had that moment to relive.
Congrats, she said yes to a date with you. These kinds of encounters can generate plenty of nervousness; so, let’s dress you the right way to keep you from worrying about your fashion as well. First of all, make sure to let her know where you are going so that she can dress accordingly. The last thing you want is for her to feel uncomfortable about her own attire. A first date can take on many forms: nice restaurant and a movie, coffee at Starbucks, or a party. For the standard date scenario at a restaurant, try wearing dark straight leg jeans with a wild, fun and/or bright dress shirt and a khaki sport coat. No tie. This works for dinner at a nice but less intimidating restaurant. The exotic shirt says you enjoy life and the khaki sport coat tells her you have some sophistication.
I think we would agree that too formal a restaurant will scare her away – too much too soon. But, you never know when this scenario will present itself. Perhaps, your company decided to host a formal Christmas dinner and you need a date – a great excuse for asking a woman out. Or maybe, a bunch of your coupled-up friends press you to join them at the symphony and you don’t want to be the odd man out. If you do find yourself going to the symphony, wear a dark suit with a pocket square and a blue contrast-collar dress shirt with maybe a pink tie (Or you can reverse that: pink contrast-collar shirt and a dark tie).
Going to a ball game? Combine dark jeans with a grey v-neck sweater pulled over a white dress shirt and a good pair of leather loafers. It says cozy, yet refined. For the very casual date (maybe not even a date, but you are together) such as a game-filled picnic in the park with friends or the both of you helping a mutual friend move, try a good pair of jeans with a solid black crew-neck t-shirt and sneakers (give Converse Chuck Taylor’s a try in any color).
Assuming the date goes well; remember to ask her out for a second date. Have fun and make her laugh!
© Copyright Fashion for the average man 2015.
The Most Attractive Element
Beyond your clothes, your education, and your financial status, there is something that attracts others and women to you even more. In college, I knew a freshman who gladly flexed his tall lanky physique at every opportunity. Let’s just say that people knew him for his attitude before his appearance, not to say you would call him ugly, just not noticeably good looking. If you asked him any question about his looks, he would attempt to convince you that he possessed the most marvelous figure and face. In addition, he strongly believed that he could do anything and do it better than anyone else. To be honest, it kind of annoyed many people. On the other hand, he held inside of him the most attractive element of any man – confidence.
You can add an extra 50% to your overall appearance with a confident attitude and a smile. Good clothing can help jumpstart that confidence, but it really must come from your own attitude. I firmly believe that God placed confidence inside the heart of every man. You simply need to grab a hold of what He has given you and believe. Anything is possible if you believe. So, use your God-given confidence and start believing in yourself, your ideas, your work product, your skills, your good looks, and your interesting personality.
Take Cary Grant for example. He exuded confidence. He also smiled a lot. He would stride into a room with a graceful demeanor and without speaking tell the room, “I know I have it together, whether you believe me or not.” Now, don’t go overboard with this. The world does not need more arrogant, selfish men. Acting like a jerk will only make people hate you. Be confident and a nice, selfless gentleman. Yes, it is possible.
As far as women are concerned, many men can attest to the fact that women are generally most attracted to confidence. I said most, not only. Please don’t misunderstand and think that you can be a confident slob. Confidence simply magnifies all of your other great attributes. Think about various outstanding leaders that you know personally. What makes them stand out? In addition to many things including integrity, I would venture to say that each of them has a certain level of confidence. Look for it in the next conversation you have with one of them.
Examples of confidence exist all around us and throughout history. Take for instance, President John F. Kennedy. In the photo above he is speaking to a joint session of congress saying “…I believe this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to the Earth.” Americans followed his confidence and his audacious declaration came to pass.
Be confident in yourself. After all, it may be the only thing people remember about you. A few years after leaving college, I had heard that the freshman found for himself a wonderful attractive young woman. With a smile and the right amount of confidence, any man can do anything he sets himself to accomplish.
© Copyright Fashion for the Average Man 2015.
Do polo players really wear polo shirts?
In the 1920s, tennis players ran around the courts in white long sleeve dress shirts with a tie and flannel slacks. This proved to be rather uncomfortable for the world’s # 1 player of 1926 and 1927. Borrowing the concept of knitted cotton jerseys from polo players, Rene Lacoste, winner of seven grand slams and nicknamed the alligator, decided to modify the shirts for comfort and performance. So, he created a shirt made of knitted cotton (versus woven) with a soft collar. He could have hardly imagined how popular this new shirt would become. In partnership w/ Andre Gillier, he created the company La Chemise Lacoste, which today is known simply as Lacoste.
The tennis shirt, later called the polo shirt, has become a staple for men’s fashion. Personally, I love them and consider them an essential part of my casual look. They pair well with jeans or khakis and work well in almost any color. The knitted cotton allows them to breathe while adding the strength needed for everyday life or sports. Of course, my favorite polo shirts come from Lacoste and sport the famous alligator logo. But, I also like other brands such as Ralph Lauren.
Wear them while playing golf or tennis. Also, try various fabrics with less durability, but more appeal off the course or court. As always, make sure that it fits you properly. Furthermore, preserve them for future wear with a V-neck undershirt. This brings me to one of my own personal great lessons – never wear a crew neck undershirt with a polo or other open collar shirt. I can’t tell you the number of times that I see this in a given week, much less in a single day. Can you picture these men typing feverishly at their computers, popping in an out of meetings, and selling products, with a white triangle just under their chins? Very distracting. It leaves me feeling like they forgot to button their shirts or forgot their ties at home. Truth is they don’t know this concept. I didn’t know this for years. If you are guilty of the crew neck beneath the polo, start on a new path right away.
Be mindful of the collar as it tends to morph into odd shapes over time if you let it. Iron the collar to keep it from creating a folded line. You can dress up the polo with a blazer and khakis or dress it down with jeans. Buy all different colors starting with solid white and solid black. Horizontal stripes are also stylish. And, the next time you have a tennis match, round of golf, or a polo game scheduled, grab your favorite polo and head out the door with gusto.
© Copyright Fashion for the Average Man.
The Matching Game
Everywhere you look, color grabs your attention. In order to properly combine the colors of your wardrobe, understanding the color wheel is crucial. With the right combinations, you can portray the emotions you want. Better still, you can avoid odd looking outfits. Discovering the perfect color matches will come with time. Experiment with varying tones and colors and don’t expect to become Michelangelo overnight. Good color matching takes practice.
At a basic level, color can be organized by way of a simple six color wheel containing both primary and secondary colors. The primary colors consist of red, yellow and blue. The secondary colors (blends of the primary colors) consist of orange, green, and purple. And, tertiary colors arise from further blends. Throw white and black into each color and you get lighter and darker shades.
If you like a strong contrast, employ the complementary colors (on exactly opposite sides of the wheel). Mix yellow with purple or red with green or blue with orange. For example, pair an orange tie with a blue shirt and neutral tan trousers. These combos tend to stand out more than others. Another bold example would be light yellow pants with a purple shirt.
Probably the simplest color associations come from the analogous colors (side by side on the wheel). So, a green tie works with a blue shirt. Also, an orange tie works with a yellow shirt and so on.
If you find yourself afraid to mix colors at all, you can simply wear varying shades of the same color. In other words, compliment a light blue shirt with a dark blue tie or wear dark brown pants with a light brown shirt. Warning: Do not wear all the same shade of the same color as this generally does not look good. In college, I had an all tan outfit that I regularly walked around campus – tan shirt, tie, belt, pants, and shoes – in the same shade. It looked hideous. Someone should have pulled me aside and handed me a color wheel. Black and white may be the only exceptions in certain cases, but be careful even here.
Remember, you know the style and emotions you want to portray better than anyone else. So, use that to your advantage. Do you desire to show your passionate, warm, and fiery side? Use the warm colors – red, yellow, orange. Want to project the calm and relaxed emotions? Use the cool colors – blue, green, and purple. For neutral, pull gray and brown out of your color bag. Also, black and white go with most anything and appear classic when paired together. Black pants with a white shirt will always be in style.
As you test your color matching skills, acquire a nice color wheel and tack it to your closet door or wall. While you mull over your options, glance over at it and proceed appropriately.
Copyright 2015 Fashion for the Average Man.
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas! I love this time of year. I enjoy spending time with my family. Festive music fills my home and car each December. I appreciate the traditions, the yearly holiday movies, the spirit of the people I encounter each day and of course the bargain season. But most importantly, I hold a special place in my heart for Christmas because of Jesus Christ. Seven or so years ago, I journeyed to Israel to see first-hand the place of his birth and the scene of his profound life. I was struck by how small everything felt in comparison to the rest of the world. In fact, most of the country (north to south) could fit in between Houston and Dallas, TX or between Los Angeles and San Francisco, CA or between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, PA. And, Jerusalem itself was not very big in Jesus’ day. Two millennia ago it was more of a stopping off spot on the way to more prominent places like Egypt or Rome. For this reason, in consideration of Israel’s size and location, I am amazed He could impact my life half a world away and 2,000 years later. Each Christmas, I dwell on God becoming a human being and sharing his love, joy and purpose with us. The message of His life is simple: He loves all of us – so much that He died to restore our relationship with Him. Thanks to Jesus Christ, I have joy, peace and happiness. I know my contentment in life cannot come from my wife or kids – or from buying more things – or achieving more success – or from looking fantastic with great fashion. It comes from Christ. In fact, with God’s peace I enjoy everything all the more. This year, I have become very aware of the many people feeling pain, loneliness, abandonment, and emptiness during the Christmas season. There are people missing loved ones and people longing for friendship. There are people working hard to make ends meet with little time for much else. For these people, I offer up a prayer. May God touch them with His love and peace. And, may God bless you as you read this. Thank you to all who read this blog. I appreciate your visits, participation, comments and likes. Keep reading into 2015 as I am mulling over several new articles to share in the coming months. Merry Christmas! © Copyright 2014 Fashion for the average man.
What happened to classy people?
In lieu of the Christmas season and my witnessing of both positive and negative behavior, I felt it proper to share a portion of my book Fashion for the average man. From page 74:
What did Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and Jimmy Stewart all have in common? You guessed it – class. In particular, Cary Grant took class and manners to its rightful place of prominence. After all, opening the door for a woman can be a very sexy act. And, women do notice this. There is a famous story about Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn working together on the classic movie Charade. They met for the first time in a restaurant in Paris. By accident, Audrey spilled a bottle of red wine all over Cary’s light colored suit. In his gracious way, he treated her as if nothing had happened. The following day, he sent her a gift with a note asking her not to feel uneasy about her embarrassing moment. What a stellar model of gracious and classy behavior.
What happened to classy people? Nowadays, it seems as if our society is filled with flashy, rude and seemingly selfish people. Does no one do the right thing anymore? Where did the spry young men carrying groceries for the elderly go? The other day, I popped into a well-known restaurant grabbing an order to go. Two lights down the road, I realized that they neglected to give me the apple and bread I had ordered. I turned around and went back. While I did not yell or say much, I am pretty sure that I came across as very irritated. Later the next day, I thought to myself, “How sad, I got irritated and worked up over a piece of bread and an apple!” I made it a point to do better in the future. It gets me asking, at what point did we cease noticing the people surrounding us. I think it’s time for us to snap out of me-centered living.
We have all met beautiful people with impeccable fashion who behave so poorly that they seem ugly. On the contrary, we all know people with “humble looks” and adequate fashion that glow because of attitude and selflessness. Simply put, dress well and glow with class.
I implore you to resolve that you will act with a classy attitude and gracious demeanor. Think about others for a change. The next time you talk with a friend; better yet, the next time you eat dinner with your wife or girlfriend, ask her what makes her happy in life. Then, just listen and genuinely ask follow up questions. You will be surprised at how well your conversation will go.
This principle, living a selfless and gracious life, will make you appear better than you could imagine. You can dress well paying attention to every detail, but it matters little if no one wants to look at you.
I also recommend reading Where are the gentlemen?
Click here to check out my book.
To get fashionable gift ideas for men, read these articles:
40+ Fashionable gift ideas for men
13 Fashionable gift ideas for men
Fashionable gift card ideas for men
© Copyright 2014 Fashion for the average man.